horrible week...just horrible

I don't like putting bad news and complaints on the blog....but it is something I just need to get down and off my chest...and then maybe I can start snapping out of the depression it has brought to our little family.
This Summer has been extremely hard on us. It started with a person coming to my face and telling me that she called me a b&#$% to a few of my neighbors....people I see everyday. The conversation went about 2 hours and never got better. The person accused me of many things...none of which are true....the more I tried to explain myself....the worse I was made to look. It was awful. I never know how to react in those situations...I'm usally damned if I defend myself and damned if I don't. It was that kind of situation. It really hurt me...in ways I can't explain. I won't go into every detail of the conversation, but that last few months...I've just stayed in my house as much as possible as to not annoy or upset anyone that lives around me. The person made it very clear that I'm a source of disruption in my neighborhood. I can't wrap my brain around what I did to this person, but things were said....I went home and cried for 2 hours....and have cried myself to sleep lots since then.
So...the day after Parker's 5th birthday....a day and a weekend that was so fun for us...Parker had a children's activity at our church. I was hesitant to take him....I just figured it was my extreme anxiety talking and took him anyway...I don't want him losing out because of his sickly mother. I left him with his good buddy and his older sister and left...feeling....weird about it.
I got home and still felt off. I called my mom to talk to her about how weird I was feeling because it helps to talk to someone so that I don't let my mind go wild and I can get my anxt to calm down. Ryan was on his way home. Then the doorbell rang. I knew ...somehow...that it was said person. So I ignored it. Then the door bell was pushed repeatedly. Then pounding started. It was scaring Parker so I kept ignoring it. It didn't stop. I tried to call Ryan but got no answer. He had just pulled up to the house.
He came in the house and told me what had happened....unfortunately in front of Parker. Ryan was in shock...so he didn't mean to have Parker hear this. But the person accused Parker of something vile and disgusting and something that is above his comprehension and was threatening to call the police. Parker immediately said that it was an accident and ran into his room crying. The little boy was scared out of his mind and also completely confused. I could hardly speak..I was in shock and didn't know what to do next. The person swore and gestured and threatened Ryan. He told the person to just leave. I was livid. It's one thing to hurt me and attack me....and it's another to go after my son. Parker was trying to explain himself through the fear and tears...he couldn't understand what he had done wrong. Now Parker knows the difference between appropriate and inappropriate....my stomach turns just thinking about this.
An older boy was pestering Parker at the activity. He told me that he told the boy no that he didn't want to play but the boy kept putting his hands in Parker's face. So Parker was using his arm to push the boy away from him and at one point arms gave way....and hence....to these people...Parker is a dirty boy. I got the kids out of the house and into the car for a drive...we all needed to get away and calm down. Parker was able to calm down and Penny fell asleep and he was able to tell me the story. I know very well he was telling the truth. If you could have seen the fear in his eyes and confusion and terror....it was awful as his mother to watch. But we got him calmed and his fears rested. Ryan went to talk to the people...he didn't really get anywhere. They didn't want to hear that it was an innocent accident ...they just accused Parker of developing a pattern of this behavior and called the Bishop of our church!
I am so mortified. Tears have come to my eyes daily at the thought of someone out there thinking this way about my son.
I know....I know....my son isn't perfect. But the boy tries really hard to do the right thing....and when he does make mistakes and he is naughty...he comes around and he tries to learn from it. This is something that this little boy shouldn't have had to deal with at such a young age. My husband did call our Bishop and set the record straight and he was very kind.
I don't have thick skin...this has shaken our little family. People might even think this is horrible to relay this story....but what do I have to lose....I'm already deemed horrible right?
I just want Parker to know how much he is loved. I'm proud of him for his desires to want to do the right thing even though...it is so hard when you are 5. Life and emotions get the better of him. He's normal. He has such a love for those around him. His grandparents, cousins and aunts and uncles. He has something special he loves about each of them individually and conveys that to them often. He loves his friends. And again loves them for all sorts of reasons.
So to Parker...he thinks that he tried to push away a boy that was pestering him and he needs to go to jail. So...the whole week has been tough on him....he gets repramended for something and literally freaks out and shakes thinking he has to go to jail. It has affected even Ryan....Ryan shed tears on Sunday sitting in church just thinking about the hanous accusations and just loving his son so much.
Maybe now that I've written this down and gotten my side of the story out...I can close it and move on. I know not who these people have talked to or called to warn them about our sick boy.....but he's NOT! He's a normal 5 year old who fights with his friends and argues with his mom and questions and negotiates and drives us nuts. He loves hard....he plays hard...he imagines hard....he loves life....and he worked hard to get to this world because he wanted to be here and be with us....and he didn't deserve this. We didn't deserve this hurt.