um.....

So there haven't been any tantrums since last Tuesday! Hooray!!! We set some new morning rules, and he has been very obedient to them. So that has made the week wonderful.
Thursday, I had an NST (Non stress test) and OB checkup. There was quite the snow storm and no plows had been on any street including the freeway. So....I was white knuckling the whole way. It got scary the closer I got to Pleasant Grove (where my doctor's office is.) So, I was a bit stressed when I got there. And then I had to sit and wait for a long time for no reason. And then the NST nurses are not very kind and make me feel dumb....like I have any control over Penny's movement and heartbeat. They get mad at me because they can't get the reading they want. They tell me that I need more food and sugary drinks. Well...I have to travel to the office and that paticular day it took me an hour to get there.....so all of it combined sent me into an anxiety attack which I tried to hide, but once I got in to see Dr. Allen....he knew something was up. I was shaking and tearing up. I was scared at the thought of driving back home in the ice and I was upset by how I was treated by the nurses. Dr. Allen told me that my blood pressure was really high and that he was concerned. So I told him of my previous two hours and he checked my pressure again and it was better. He also wanted me to go on Zoloft....very low dose....to get me through the next few weeks. The anxiety attacks are getting worse and the depression is also starting to get bad again. Well...it's more of an unfeeling feeling rather than depression. The anxiety I know has a lot to do with the amount of pain I am in every day, but it is also just the nature of my beast....I have anxiety....I have for a long time.
So, since Thursday I have done well. I still take it easy, but I'm sleeping better and waking up better and getting through my day better. He wants to see me Christmas Eve just to make sure the meds are not hindering anything and to recheck my blood pressure. He did tell me also that if my body is ready.....he will induce me at 39 weeks. So that means.....5 weeks and 4 days!!!! roughly.
That is very soon. And I'm glad I'm ready....or am I ready? My whole world will change and it's scary, but we are so very excited to have her here. Parker's world is going to change and he doesn't even realize it, but I think he'll do great. He'll love the big brother role.
So, if she and my body cooperate, she will be born the last week of January.
Ryan is now off for the Christmas week. I'm excited that he'll be home. Gives us both a chance to get some much needed rest. He still is congested and miserable with that, but he is a trooper....much better than me. He is busy as we speak cleaning my stove and oven and replacing foil under the burners. It's his specialty.
For the first time, Parker got embarassed by a girl. My nephew and his girlfriend were in town for a day and we got to spend some time with them. Parker put on one of his "shows" using a plastic shovel for a microphone. He was calling volunteers from the audience and he chose Lacey to come up. Lacey being my nephew's girlfriend.
He asked her, "tell us about your greatest thing." so she responded by describing Parker and said, "It is you, Parker." He got the funniest look and grin on his face and turned bright red. Then he dashed off to hide. We all laughed so hard. It was so cute to see him blush because a cute girl said nice things about him.
Then he became the audience member who went up to volunteer. He was asked the same question. He described his greatest thing as ....she is wearing a red shirt, she is so nice to me....we all figured it was Lacey. But he said, "No...it's my mommy." AAAAHHHHHHH melt me into a big pile of butter. And he ran and hugged me. He just has a special talent of validating me especially when I need it most.
We are looking forward to Christmas. We have lots of fun plans with family and with friends. I can't wait for Parker to open his gifts. I just love watching him enjoy the day.
Everyone have a wonderful Holiday and be safe too!