Why Must I Be Sad?

My post title is a song title from They Might Be Giants....it's really not a dramatic question from a dramatic sad girl.
But I have had a rough week emotionally. Not sure why other than hormone central and ....yeah....in case you missed the memo.....I'm BARREN! It sucks, but I do know that I'm learning a lot about human nature and I'm learning a lot about my personal strength and weakness. It helps me to know that I know how to be empathetic towards others regardless the circumstance. Those are some positive things I've tried to keep on my mind. Yet there is also a horrible pit in my stomach that ....throughout the last week, has just had me in tears. I did start some small dosage lupron injections last week, so there you go.
I think I'm also super freaked out about this upcoming IVF Cycle. It wasn't supposed to go down like this and with the bump in the road it makes me nervous. I start the stim meds again on Sunday, the 4th. I go in for my base line ultra sound early Sunday morning and start the meds. This time they will start me on the full dosage right from the get go instead of in the middle. I will then have a blood draw at the end of the week to check my estrogen levels. That will help the Nurse determine if everything is on track. Then starting Mother's Day I begin daily ultra sounds to track the growth of the egg folicles which will hopefully be there and growing nicely.
We booked a Marriot hotel up in Boise....thanks to my sister-in-law Rachel who gets us a screamin' deal.
For those of you interested in fasting, praying, thinking good thoughts for Amy, Ryan and Parker day. That will be this Sunday the 4th.
We appreciate all of the love and support we get from everyone.
Wish us luck!!!